I have been somewhat in a daze for the last week. Life seems surreal and I feel like I'm sitting in a corner with God watching, with our hands on our chins events unfold in my life and on this planet I call earth.
I have cried, I have been shocked to the core. I have wondered what went wrong with me and what went wrong with us- human beings.
Okay, I guess it all started to go wrong was with Adam and Eve eating that apple.
If only Eve would have known the repercussions of eating that apple, maybe, maybe she would not have gone ahead to eat that darn fruit and there will be no evil on earth.
If only the DJs in Australia had known the repercussions to calling the King Edward VII's hospital, Jacintha Saldanha would still be alive. Her children would still have a mother, her husband will still have a wife.
If only the gunman in Connecticut would have thought about the repercussions of his actions; if only he had stopped been angry for a minute, sat down and not let emotions could his judgement, maybe, just maybe, those children will still be alive. Maybe those teachers will still be alive.
If only the gun culture has not been so glorified, maybe, just maybe that would not have been the only way and instrument with which the gunman would have seen fit to express whatever emotion he had that had filled its cup and was running over.
I walk out when my mum and dad change the tv channel to news. They ask me why and I tell them that I can't stand the bad news. They say, 'yes, it's true but one must stay informed'.
I ask myself, do I really want to stay informed anymore? What's the point?
Today, a teenager has been stabbed. Tomorrow, she died from overdose. Next tomorrow, a 5-year old boy was raped. The day after that, a family was gunned down...
When does it stop? How does it stop? Will it stop?
If only I knew what life on earth was going to be, I would have begged God not to send me because I'm finding it hard to take it all in and deal with all the negative life throws at us daily.
I ask God why all this happens as I sit with him in our corner watching events folds. I tell Him it's hard. He tells me to read...
I Corinthians 10:13
'There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is
faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able;
but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be
able to bear it.'
I look at Him, my eyes widening in incredulity whilst pointing towards earth and stutter, you mean that is what will comfort those kids parent's? I shake my head in wonder. I ask God, if He still cares for us anymore? Have we angered Him so much that He has taken His cover off us and has given the devil free reins to do as he pleases?
*Back to earth*
I still have no answers on how to deal with the losses going on around me everyday. Someone says, we shouldn't question God. But I find it hard not to. (Why shouldn't we ask God questions anyway? I ask my daddy questions and God is my big daddy. I should ask. It annoys me when people say that or is there somewhere in the Bible that I didn't read or there was a meeting I missed in which God said we should under any circumstance, never ask Him questions. Somebody please tell me.) I have more questions than answers and daily, the question list grows.
Life has become meaningless now. People take it with so much ease and lack of fear. I guess with more than 7 billion people
on earth, they don't think anyone will notice the difference, but the
families affected do. Friends do. Acquaintances do.
Sad thing is that in a week or two week's time, everyone forgets. We
move on. We forget the families hurting. We forget how angry/sad we
were. We forget that we got so mad that we wanted change. Not soon, but
We get back to the daily grind of life. We go back to wondering
what we'll have for supper or if that guy/girl think we are cute. We
I'm tired. I'm going to bed. Can't handle this right now.
PS: Sorry for the disjointed post. I feel that way now to be honest. *shrugs, gets into bed and covers self with duvet*