Monday, 21 January 2013

Random thoughts.

Okay, so it's been seriously snowing here. It's nice and lovely and I really want to make a snowman, but I just can't be bothered to leave the warmth and comfort of my house to do that.

I got new trainers and track bottoms. I want to take exercising seriously this year. Everyone thinks I'm crazy and I've had a couple of guys tell me randomly that I need to add weight and that I'm too skinny and bony. One of them told me, oh Ani, you need to start eating more eba and soup you know so you can add a bit more flesh. I was like, nah, thanks. I'm great the way I am. Dude tells me, but you know, you will even look better when you add a bit of flesh in the right places. Guys will fall for you more. I didn't even bother replying. See me see trouble oh. I am there minding my own business and you are telling me to change who I am to look better for you like I know you like me and want me to be your wifey or whatever, I don't like been told what to do and who are you to tell me I need to add more flesh? Some men are so confused. They see a slim woman and they complain. They see a big woman and they complain. They see one that's in the middle and they want bigger boobs instead like gerrout of here jare. Another lady in Church walked up to me and asked me if I was ill. I said no and why was she asking? She said because it looked like I had lost a lot of weight. This was just after Christmas and New Year. I told her no, I had actually added a bit. She said in other words that I looked too scrawny and that a woman should be between 12-14. SAY WHAT! She said a woman looks healthy and better when she's between one of those sizes and she will be more attractive. She told me to start eating more and stop starving myself with salads and whatnots. I told her, aunty, I eat real food. I eat junk. A LOT of junk. We cook large pots of food every two days because we eat that much.
I got home and I was wondering why everyone all of a sudden is talking about me looking attractive for men. I didn't know that my sole purpose was to get to a certain age and then start primping and fattening myself for men. I got so annoyed. Oh well. My own is that I need to get fit this year. I am so unfit. It's quite scary.

Close family friend told me he loved me. Shockers.

Had massive rows with mum and dad over my education and what I want to do opposed to what I should be doing. It was all about what other people I don't give a crap about think. I hate that about the Nigerian culture. I frankly don't give a damn. People will talk no matter what you do. I might as well do what I like knowing they will talk anyway. Stressful times at home. Thank God for my second 'dad' who has been there to listen and advice and be a mediator between myself and the parents.

I feel very disillusioned these days with EVERYTHING. Family to self to religion and faith and life in general. I tend to stand at the top of the stairs and look out the window thinking of nothing in particular.

I've had very very long conversations with family friend. The older you get, the more complicated life becomes. SMH.

Mister man said he missed me. I missed him too and I appreciate him so much. You don't know how good your best paddies are till you talk to other people and realise how much paddy knows you and accepts your idiosyncrasies.

I haven't really spoken to female close friend in. We've whatsapped and that's pretty much been it. I'm a bit bleurgh about it.

I miss my phone. I updated to Jellybean and since the update, my phone went a bit nuts. It still worked. Sort of till it died. Had it sent off to a Samsung repair centre. It takes 10-15 days to get it fixed. I forgot to ask if it was working days or just everyday. I really miss my phone. I can't take good pictures with this crappy htc hero. It's so small and I wonder how I was able to use any other phone apart from my Gal S3.

Everyone seems to be leaving England or maybe it's everyone I know and I'm friends with.

We had this Skype thing with the pastor and all the young adults from Church. It was err 'interesting' to say the least. It was like a Bible study. At least, he's trying to get us all together from all everywhere we've all traipsed to in the name of university.

I really love what I'm studying now. I feel happy and comfortable. I don't feel panicky or have that sick feeling at the bottom of my stomach like I did all the time whilst on my former degree programme. I hope my mum and dad support me fully and accept that I am an adult and can make my own decisions. They are getting around in their own way.

I need to call my driving instructor and get my driving license sorted out asap. I need want a car. Went car window shopping with mum and it'll be lovely to be able to drive myself around without waiting for lifts or taking the bus.
I hate taking the bus.

I want to go to London soon. I miss London. I miss the hustle and bustle and how I get lost in the multitude of people there.

I don't see the point of this post. Oh well.

Bless. X

7 comments:

  1. Everyone told me I was skinny, now I am size 12 everyone is shouting fat...please stick to whatever works for you.

    Parents and supposed career paths I am tired of it...my mum is driving me nut nowadays and I cant help but stay calm.

    Life sure gets complicated the older you get.

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    Replies
    1. I will. I'm learning to do what I want to do and putting myself and how I feel first before other people's opinions.

      I so get you. Parents- they want the best for us, but I wish they'll realise that their idea of the best for us is not necessarily the best for us.

      Oh hun, life gets complicated. But we have to live it and make the most of it.
      It is well. x

      Delete
  2. Life sure gets complicated as you get older *sigh*

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  3. It does. It's funny that when you're little, you can't wait to get older so you can have more control over your life and decisions. You get older and you're like hold up. Nobody told me it won't be all that fun to be an adult.
    It's okay though. Hopefully, we'll be able to look back and smile at all the previous complications we've been through. X

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  4. It was kind of funny and cute reading this as you were sorta all over the place. I enjoyed it though. You need to find a balance within and things without will not be able to ruffle your feathers.

    mmmwah!!

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    Replies
    1. 'Find a balance within and things without will not be able to ruffle your feathers'
      WORD!!!
      Thanks for that.

      Delete
  5. I enjoyed the randoms thoughts. You've sure got a lot on your mind.

    ReplyDelete

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