Monday, 29 April 2013

My Prayer 1

Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves, 

when our dreams have come true because we have dreamed too little, 

when we arrive safely because we sailed too close to the shore. 


Disturb us, Lord, when with the abundance of things we possess,
we have lost our thirst for the waters of life, 
having fallen in love with life, we have ceased to dream of eternity, 
and in our efforts to build a new earth, 

we have allowed our vision of the new heaven to dim. 


Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly, to venture on wider seas, 
where storms will show your mastery, 
where losing sight of land, we shall find the stars. 
We ask you to push back the horizon of our hopes, 
and to push us into the future in strength, courage, hope, and love. 
This we ask in the name of our Captain, who is Jesus Christ. ”
― Francis Drake

Sometimes, I don't want to be disturbed. I like where I am. I feel safe and comfortable.
Why do I have to..? But...? What if...?

However,

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Saviour"
-Hillsong United (Oceans (Where feet may fail)


Thursday, 25 April 2013

Friendship


This dude is FUNNY. His accent and intonations and everything is just right. He made me smile.

I have been pretty much a loner most of my life and I've been fine with it, but as much as I love talking and thinking things through in my head, there there have been periods when I've wanted or needed someone to talk to. I'm glad I have a sort of mentor like figure in my life to whom I e-mail pages after pages of the going ons in my life-the good and not so good.
I have been wary of calling just anyone my friend. Friendship to me is a biggie. When I call someone my friend, I mean it. It is a commitment and one I take seriously. However, I have realised that it is better to be alone than have crappy 'friends'. I'm the classic example of burnt once, twice shy.
Anyway, it saddens me when I see/hear people slander, belittle and tear their apparent friend to pieces. My sister's flatmate apparently has been acting up and I find it weird that they're always loving each other up, declaring their love and whatnot on facebook and when they talk to each other, and then been bitchy the next minute and having these fights that make no sense whatsoever. It's horrid. I told my sister that she needs to start making real friends and these people she hangs out with are not friends. I was quite shocked when she said, 'I know'. Apparently, she knows who her real friends are, but only hangs out with the people she does because they are fun and some other reasons that make no sense to me. Then again, I can't say I really understand how and why my sister does what she does sometimes. She says I think too 'straightforward' to understand.*shrug* I told her that I was worried for her and the whole big sister talk and she said I should stop worrying and that she knows how to handle her flatmate. Doesn't stop me from worrying though.
I worry so much for my siblings and even my parents. SMH.
Anyhoo, I firmly believe that in friendship and their importance, but when a friendship or any relationship becomes toxic, then I don't see why there should be any hesistation in walking away. Friends are to add to you and vice versa. Friendship should be joyous. Not necessarily all the time, but you should think of your friend and smile not be angry or sad or have negative thoughts.
Whatever though...
Moving on...

Five Characteristics of a Close (True) Friend
  1. A close friend rejoices in your joys and sorrows over your pains. A true friend is not just sympathetic, they are empathetic. They share your feelings, weeping with you when you weep and rejoicing with you when you rejoice.
  2. A close friend won’t defriend you if you disagree. Friendships are tested when there is a disagreement. But true friends don’t cut you off because of it. They may tell you what they think you need to hear and vice versa. But they will do it in such a way where you can receive it. The reason is because you know they love you unconditionally more than they love their views.
  3. A close friend stays in regular contact with you. I have friends who contact me from time to time and vice versa (once or twice a year). We regard each other as good friends. But a close friend this doth not make. Close friends communicate fairly regularly.
  4. A close friend is someone whom you trust implicitly. They have earned your trust. Consequently, you don’t doubt that they have your back. And you don’t fear that they will stab you in the back. You trust them enough to confide in them about highly private and confidential matters. Close friendship brings with it disclosure (John 15:15).
  5. A close friend will stand by you, defend you, even take a bullet for you when you’re under attack. To my mind, this is perhaps the highest measure of friendship or one of the rock-bottom “tests.” The posture of a true friend is, “If you hurt my friend, you’ve hurt me.” It is never, “Well, that person never did anything to hurt me, so it’s not my issue.” This attitude is what separates goats from black sheep. :-) True friends stand with and stand up for each other.                            http://frankviola.org/2012/03/26/whatmakesatruefriend/

Tuesday, 23 April 2013

Craziness!

This month has been exceptionally busy for me. It's been nice travelling and meeting so many people, but it's also been exhausting. I've had to make lots of small talk which was so tiring especially at my sister's birthday dinner. She is so bubbly and outgoing and all her friends are pretty much the same. After a while, I just stopped and sat in a corner and people watched. It was pretty entertaining watching them all.
I'm glad to be home, but I'm out again this weekend for another birthday do, but it's in my city, so no travelling. I can't wait for next weekend when I can just have a lie in, get some school work done and read a book. I read two books this past two weeks. One was 'The last templar' by Raymond Khoury. Good read. It's sort of similar to Dan Brown's 'The lost symbol'. I've not been to my local library in a while. I'm going to pay them a visit soon.

Apparently, I annoyed someone-A. He was going back to Nigeria and my mum had gotten somethings she wanted to send back home and the plan was that another friend of mine, B will pick them up from A and give them to the people they were intended for. My mum asked me to tell A that B will come pick it up from him. I sent A a message saying, please, this is B's number. Can you call him and try to set up a time with him so he knows when you'll be home and he can come pick up the things from you. A says okay first and then a few minutes later, sends me another message saying no. I'm like err, why? He says nothing and that I should call B myself and tell him. I ask him why because it makes more sense for him to call B since he's in Nigeria and it'll cost me to call B from the UK. He's still insistent and I keep on asking why and he tells me in other words that I disrespected him by asking him to do something. I'm like woah. Come again and he repeats himself. He adds that I'm younger than him and a woman and I'm sending him on errands and that I have become too westernised and I should try that in Nigeria and he's just going on and on. I was literally in shock. If this was someone else telling me this, I would not be bothered, but A is like my person. We're really good friends and could have been more if not that he moved back to Nigeria.
All I could think of was so within a week of you back in Nigeria, your mentality has changed so much or wth is going on... I was gobsmacked to say the least and I just could not get my head around the fact that I ask a REALLY good friend of mine who is just about 4/5 years older than me to do a favour for me and it is disrespect. He said that if I had said my mum asked me to tell him, it would have been better, but me asking him was wrong and if I cannot try it in Nigeria.
Is that true?
We've talked a couple of times since that conversation, but it has been strained. I don't know how to relate with him anymore. When we talked and hung out, I never really thought about age and the fact that he was older. We were cool, laughed and insulted each other so I've still been in a state of not shock, but something close to it for the past two weeks. I keep on hoping he'll call or send me a message saying, 'I was joking o! Did you actually take that seriously?' I know he won't, because I had to be sure he said that and so I rang him and he was actually getting angry. He said he's trying to not get too angry because he knows I didn't grow up in Nigeria much so I'm not used to how things are done. That pretty much told me that he was serious, BUT, WTH!!!

I have always been friends with older people all my life and I have pretty much dated mostly guys older than I am, but now, I've had to have a re-think. I know not every guy is hung up on the I'm older than you so you have to kneel down when greeting me even whilst dating or married thought, but I'm so wary.
I would never have thought in a million years that A will spew up the rubbish he did about me being younger and a woman, but he did. I guess, we never really know anyone.
*sigh*
I guess I'm just going to have to deal with it and err...
...
...
...Moving on

Tuesday, 2 April 2013

Award!



Sooo, I was given the Liebster blog award by ay in February, but I hadn't gotten around to accepting it and 'obeying' the rules for accepting it. Thank you for the award ay :-)

The rules for accepting the award are:
  1. Thank and link back to the giver
  2. Answer the giver's questions
  3. Nominate five other blogs with fewer than 200 followers
  4. Ask five questions for your nominees to answer
  5. Post it on your blog

1. Thank and link back to the giver.
Done

2. Answer the giver's questions
Love over money, or money over love? Love

What is the one thing you wish you could be right now? A very successful carpenter/joiner. 

Who is the one person you wish you could meet right now, and what would you tell them? King David. How he kept on walking with God despite how much he messed up.

How do you react when you are upset? I withdraw till I'm okay.

Where do you see yourself in five years. In five years, I'll be a working graduate. I'll be working for a good sized (I tend not to like large companies. I prefer underdogs) construction company in maybe the Middle East or somewhere in Europe or anywhere as long as I'm happy. Working on or towards my own projects. DV.

3. Nominate five other blogs with fewer than 200 followers
My five other blogs are:
4. Ask five questions for your nominees to answer
My five questions are:
  • What is the most random thing you have ever thought about?
  • Justice or mercy? Why?
  • What is your top favourite memory of all time?
  • If you could, what would you do everyday without fail?
  • What question would you like to be asked?

5. Post it on your blog. 
Done

Monday, 1 April 2013

Am I bovvered?

I wonder why people strive so much to be like others. I mean, it's one thing to see someone doing well in certain areas of their lives that you aren't up to par in and then trying to work hard to emulate their success and be better if possible, but it's another issue when you just want to BE LIKE someone else or you do things just because everyone is doing it.

I always think, sod it! I wasn't born on the same day as everybody and even if I was, I am me! I am running/walking/strolling on MY OWN lane in MY OWN race in life. I did not start this race with anybody neither am I in competition with anybody or care much about what anybody else is doing (apart from a couple of times I get a bit down). This is something I'm continuously belting out to my mum when she gets into her A is now a pharmacist and engaged, B is doing his masters and will be graduating soon or C is already married and just a couple of years older than you.
I think it irks mama that I'm just so laissez faire when it comes to these sort of things. Typical conversation between us goes like-
Mum: 'Ohhh, she's a Doctor now o' You know, she's even engaged to to a chemical engineer who works in Shell (or whatever oil company).
Me: 'That's lovely! *insert smile/continues with what I'm doing*
I look at mum from the corner of my eyes and she's just staring at me intently most likely thinking' Jesu Olorun, what am I going to do with this girl.'
 

Thing is, apart from my sporadic meltdowns on how 'rubbishy' my life is like in this post, I frankly just don't care. 
I'm glad I don't too because if I did, I would be close to finishing university now but be an extremely miserable git who was doing what everyone expected of her despite not hating every minute of it. 
I'm glad I don't care enough to make the things going on around me make me literally suffer in silence.

I LOVE what I'm doing now and I know that there are so many opportunities out there for me and I get so excited when I think about my future and what it holds for me careerwise anyway. I actually get giddy with joy and tear up a little bit (there are VERY few things that make me emotional).

For once, instead of been a responsible good girl, I am glad that I don't care. :-)

PS:{I love my mum and I know she loves me too, and wants me to do well in life and be able to stand amongst my mates with my head and shoulder held high. She's just got a different way of trying to 'motivate' me I guess.}