Wednesday, 19 November 2014

Back! (+ long story)

PS: I did not expect this post to go on for this long. I went off a tangent and got carried away with it.

Sweet Lord! It's been a while since I've been on here.
I got lazy and it was pretty much easier to keep stuff in my head than actually get it out in 'paper', which sort of defeats the purpose of this blog.

Anyhoo, I'm back and I'm going to try to get stuff out of up there and on here more.

So what have I been up to since October 2013...?
I've finished my course in College, gotten a job, started back at University and been extremely busy.

Whilst having a chat with Big Kiddo :-) and sharing some anecdotes from my short time at my new job, he commented on how those would have been good on here and I thought 'ahh... I guess, if  I'll stop been lazy and living in my head'
Decided to come back on here though. Telling stories and recounting experiences by mouth is so different to writing it down. I don't think I'm much good at either of them. Everything sounds oh so much better in my head, but oh well. I can't be good at everything can I?
Anyway sha, I'm hoping reflecting and getting stuff on here will help with my Personal Development Plans and all those reflection 'nonsense' that I have to do. There are lots of them and everytime I think about starting to fill them in, I panic and just 'forget about it' till next week when I'll be in the frame of mind to do it.
Next week was about a month ago and one of them is due in next month. Imagine! I feel like I'm in school where I have to write 'about me' compositions.

Funny thing is that in primary and high school, I was really good at English Language and Literature. My English tutor wanted me to study English and even on the day of graduation, she came up to me and said I should seriously consider studying English at University.
Me? For where? Maka why? Ejo o... Mba nu!
She, Ms Noble was an alright teacher in the sense that she didn't always have control of the class. From Jamaica with incredibly long, fake nails, fake weave and lots of make-up, she was lovely and sometimes let me get away with eating and or reading in class.
My first English teacher in high school was Ms DeMartino. Italian heritage most likely. She was the definition of small but mighty. She was petite, but when you got on her nerves, dayum, she could scream the daylight out of earth. She made me like English Language and Literature as subjects. I previously just enjoyed reading, and that was that. She taught PEE (Point Evidence Explain) in year 8 and I still use that till today with some of my essays. I'd always been good with English language, but didn't understand or see the point of Literature and I was certain I would fail my English Literature GCSE, but I did excellently in it. She taught me how to read poems and interprete them in the way the poet perhaps wanted it portrayed or just my own point of view. I found it interpreting poems, especially the ones that had no head or tail into something logical pretentious and a bit silly and sometimes, I still do till date, though now, I try to respect that the poet writes down what's in their mind/head and it doesn't have to make sense to me.
I didn't mind poems that had a story line or some sort of rhyme going on, but some just made me feel like the writers were high.

My Maths tutor was Jamaican too-Mr Christian. He was relatvely young and chilled. He was fun and a good teacher too. I enjoyed learning maths with him.

I had two science teachers one for Physics and Biology and the other for Chemistry. Chemistry teacher was crap and our year made her cry. A lot. Looking back now, I sometimes feel awful for her. I didn't do anything though. I was a good student.
Physics and Biology tutor was brill. Mr Barber was bald and I think an atheist? He always got into passive aggressive conversations with out Steel band teacher-Dave as a few of the students in my year group always had practice during one half of Mr Barber's lessons.

Dave was a boss! He was fun, cool and the most down to earth person ever. Can't even call him a teacher sef. I started on the steel band band quite late, but he was so patient and I ended up getting the hang of it. I played the bass drums. It was great! It was fun missing lessons to make music and then be among the first to get to the canteen for lunch.

Spanish teacher was actually a French man. Imagine! I always forget his name. He had a black sport car. That I remember well. He was a great teacher considering that years after leaving high school, I still remember a bit of Spanish and if I kept up with practice, I would probably have been fluent now. There were a few people in my year who did learn to speak it and two that I know of went on to study it at University. In high school, in my time anyway, there was the foundation and higher paper and if you weren't that good at a subject, you would be entered for the foundation exam and if better, the higher. In Spanish, we had a mock exam in both papers. I failed the foundation and passed the higher. I'm still baffled till tomorrow.I was entered in for the higher thankfully.

History was fun because we watched old movies about the Indians in America and war movies. History teacher was old, but so genteel. He could be your favourite grand uncle with whom you played golf with. He was tall and soft spoken and we always tried to get him to do what we wanted.

I think our religious education teacher was a druggie and perv. I don't think he was which contradicts the first statement, but oh well, make from it what you will. He was ginger and just random. He might have been budhist.

My Design and Technology teacher was Nigerian. Woop! He let us do what we wanted as long as we didn't kill ourselves with any of the machines in his lab. I enjoyed this subject so much. If I was not in the library at school, I was either here or in my classroom. I made some really nice stuff that I still have till date. The clock I made is in the kitchen in my Uncle and Aunty's house. I was watching a random video from a Church and saw him in it. I think he's a Pastor or something.

P.E teacher. We had 3. 2 females and 1 male. PE was alright. I hated lawn tennis and table tennis and basketball and badminton and volley ball and...that's it. I was really good at track and field-100m, long and triple jump. Made some records in school. Represented my borough in London Schools. I even joined a harriers. Went training and all with my spikes. Those were the days till sixth form happened and I got unhealthy and...that's how the story ended. If you google my name and London schools athletics, I'm somewhere there for some award or the other there. That makes me smile a bit.I liked netball too. Sometimes.
Those were all the subjects I took at year 9 for my GCSES.

I loved high school and hated it in almost equal measures. I loved learning and being in the school environment, I loved steel band and DT. I loved sports and the the library, but I always felt like I didn't fit in anywhere. I wasn't a girly girl, so didn't fit in with the girls and the boys didn't want me always playing with them more so, after I hit one of them in the balls with a hockey stick for touching my butt. That's what happens when horny 13/14 year old boys don't listen when I say 'BOG OFF!!!' Besides, there were always rumours flying around and I certainly didn't want to be one of the 'characters'.

I loved the library. It was my safe haven. The smell of old books and the quietness there. The librarian let me take as many books as I wanted even though there was a limit for everyone else. I guess she recognised that I loved books and would take care of them. I reckon throughout my time in high school, I read almost all the books in there apart from horror. I don't do horror. Na na na.
Anyway, high school was confusing to me because as much as I wanted to fit in with the girls, their noisy and copycat behaviour irked me. Why couldn't they just be quiet? Why did they all have to go to the toilet together? I think the girls realised I was a bit different and sort of shut me out. Kind of hurt. Okay, it did hurt, but the weird thing was when I was included, I wanted to be out of the groupsy thing. I didn't fit in or out. Why couldn't I just be 'normal'?
Anwyay, when I got older, I realised I was just an introvert. I liked the feeling of family and togetherness, but I didn't necessarily want to partake in it from the inside. I certainly wasn't shy, I just didn't enjoy talking about boys or nail polish or Eastenders or the colour of Jesse McCartney's eyes etc. Those things didn't move me. Talking about politics did. I guess watching too much Sky new from a young age has an effect on a kid's life and outlook to life.

I had a weird relationship with all the groups at school. I could fit into them all for a brief period of time so I spent time flitting from the girlies to the football boys to the 'bad' smoking kids (very brief 'hi')to the teacher's pets to the geeks to the snobs to the ratchety (forgive me Lord for viewing them that way) girlies to being alone. I realise that till now, that's what I still do. I've stopped looking for where I belong though and I just live, though every once in a while, after bumping into an episode of Friends of Sex and the City, I wish I would have 'my people' but screw that. Overrated. For now.

The most trouble I got into at school was reading novels and eating in class. I got sent out of class especially English for reading novels when I was supposed to be writing an essay, which to be honest, I could have belted out in 10 minutes. I was simply giving the rest of the class head-starts. The teacher didn't see it that way.
I was racially bullied in high school too, by some tiny girl-Amy. It bothered me for a while, afterwards I more or less told her with my attitude to pardon my French 'piss off'

I went to a grammar school in Kent for 6th form which was not my choice. I hated my time there. All girls school *SHUDDER* Never again!

First university, I hated it. I got depressed. Cried a lot. I still didn't understand at this point why I didn't fit in no matter how hard I tried. I just wasn't interested in drinking or clubbing. It probably didn't help that I was studying a course I knew I hated within a few weeks at uni.

Looking back, I should have probably tried to enjoy high school more and not care about people's opinions or about being part of a group.
I should have been more firm in going to at least the grammar school of my choice.
I should have studied what I wanted to at both 6th form and uni.
I guess, these are the things one only learns in hindsight.

However, I probably wouldn't be here today with the job I have and the long winded story that comes with it as I would have graduated towards the mid/end of the recession and most likely not had a job as the Construction industry was hit really badly.

I'm super grateful to God that despite all the time I spent leaving uni and restarting 'everything' I still caught up in the sense that I have a wonderful job within the industry I had always wanted to  be in from the beginning.
God is faithful and if we wait on Him, though things don't go according to plans (I am the queen of planning.) and you get annoyed, antsy and angry, He'll make all things beautiful. In HIS time so you'll have an awesome story to tell too.
God's time is the best!

                                                                        - The End -
                                                                         (for now)